Abigoliah Schamaun

Comedian, Yogi, Whiskey Enthusiast. 

What I used to Consider Healthy, I now Consider Cheat Meals.

What I used to Consider Healthy, I now Consider Cheat Meals.

* Originally Posted January 27, 2016

TODAY WAS OFF TO A GOOD START!

I had a green drink for breakfast with an apple and peanut butter as well. Then went to Crossfit, and it was another workout where I’m pretty sure Idon’t have to exercise ever again. I’ve done fitness. Nailed it in fact I can retire. I’ve done all the fitness in the world, someone hand me the cheese. Just kidding! For lunch I added green cabbage to the left over butternut squash soup and combined it with the bean soup. It was great!

Dinner was a bit of a bust. I made Zucchini Noodles with Sun-dried Tomato Pesto Sauce off Kris’s website. I went a bit nuts and added lots of extras including sautéed onions and mushrooms. But I tried sautéing them in water as oppose to oil. I used too much water and when I mixed it all together the zucchini got kinda mushy. It’s not the worst thing in the world but I’m annoyed Imade so much of it to not enjoy over the next couple of days.

I’ve also decided to add another element to the detox. I’m going to stop sleeping with my computer in bed with me! Yep, I sleep with my computer. It started years ago, when I would listen to audio to fall asleep, not it’s escalated to watching bad TV. In Crazy Sexy Diet Kris says that watching TV or having your computer on while you sleep screws up your bodies productions of melatonin and serotonin. Which help your body produce slumber. I still feel groggy during the day, and thought maybe my computer casting a romantic glow on me while I sleep was keeping me from getting good Z’s. But it’s gone! No more! I’m giving it up!

That night I went out to gig. I had two gigs planed and due to a miscommunication on the second one, I rushed over there, to be told I wasn’t on. “I texted you three times confirming!” “I know, sorry I didn’t have my phone on me.” “But you gave me your number to text you if something went wrong.” If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s having my time wasted. I could have stayed at the other gig, I could have gone to another one I turned down for this one, I could of done anything else that’s not running across London to get somewhere that doesn’t need me there.

The guy, running the gig is lovely, and I’m over it now, but last night I was fuming and for the first time, since I’ve started this wanted to emotionally eat. I forgot I do that a lot. I’ve been in such a protective bubble of going home early, and cooking and grocery shopping I forgot that’s a thing I do. I got some healthy popcorn, went home made myself a shake using two bananas, raw cocoa powder, maca, a date, and almond milk. I sat down and indulged. It’s actually kinda funny. Nothing about that snack broke any of my food rules. What I would’ve thought as a healthy option in December, is now being so “bad” here at the end of January. Yes, it was carbs and sugar but all healthy carbs with fiber. It was satisfying and I regret nothing.

I crawled into bed at 1am computer-less thinking about how I could’ve better spent my time this evening or how I could’ve contacted the booker to tell them when I’d be there. My mind was reeling so I thought, “Fuck this.” And grabbed my computer and crawled back into bed. Apparently this is going to be the hardest vice to let go of…

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How to be Fat.

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