Abigoliah Schamaun

Comedian, Yogi, Whiskey Enthusiast. 

The Nights are Killing Me!

The Nights are Killing Me!

* Originally Published January 4, 2016

UUUUUUGGGGGGGH!

I set my alarm for 9am. I got up at 2pm. I think I might be sick. I doubt it has anything to do with the actual cleanse, But I couldn’t get out of bed to save my life. I did get up brush my teeth and think, “I’ll just lay down for a bit longer.” Further more, when I went to bed I felt hungry. When I woke up, it felt like there was a rock in my stomach. That’s not how I remember feeling in past juice cleanses.

Having trouble getting up has more to do with the fact that on New Years I stayed up till 5am and slept till 2pm the following day. It’s very easy for me to get on a night schedule but it’s always been hard for me toreverse back to a morning schedule. It’s not helping right now to knowing that once I get up what’s waiting for me is green tea, laxative tea, and 3 liters of juice.

In order to detox your body you have to get the toxins out somehow. But with an all juice an little fiber to know fiber, it’s hard to keep you digestive tract pooping. So it’s recommended in most cleanses that you assist that process with a laxative tea containing senna. It’s a natural laxative and not as harsh as other over the counter prescriptions containing synthetic chemicals and senna tea can be found at most health food stores. That’s why I’m taking a laxative tea right now. I don’t recommend it for long term use.

Anyway, it’s not the happiest of morning rituals I’ve partaken in. Not only that, because I woke up so late, I didn’t have the time or energy to get on the tube, go to another neighborhood, and find another juice place. I finally trudged back down to Whole Foods to pick up more juices, most too fruit heavy for my liking. Speaking of rituals and plans. I thought I’d be doing so much more on this diet. I had planned to go to yoga every day and partake and a couple of hippy dippy rituals to see if they changed my over all health s dry bushing and tapping. As it stands now, I’ve had the energy to get up, buy juices, write this blog, go to work. I’m not feeling more energized, my skin isn’t better or worse. I wake up not hungry and as the day progresses I get hungrier and hungrier.

That’s another thing; the late nights are killing me. Not only am I hungry but it’s hard to keep my willpower going. The American Psychological Association has published and article stating the willpower is a finite resource and can run out. That’s why most people trying to change their eating or health habits are fine during the day and then it all falls to shit at night.

Last night I was in Brighton performing on Double Bent at Komedia. It’s a great gig and I was excited to do it. I still get nervous before I perform. Not overly frightened, but I still get the jitters. As I was standing back stage and the butterflies were starting to flutter I could also feel something else, my blood sugar started to drop. It wasn’t just butterflies I was feeling shaky. When Zoe brought me on, I remember thinking, “Please don’t faint on stage.” I didn’t I was fine. But I was just fine. I didn’t feel I had the energy to truly connect with what was going on in the room. One joke that I’ve been saying regularly for over a year I just changed the punchline to in the moment. I didn’t change it on purpose, just other words fell out of my mouth and as soon as then did I thought, “But that’s not how that goes.” Instead of acknowledging that and playing with the mistake I trudged on. In my mind, it felt less like a live breathing performance and more like someone just pressed play on me and I delivered my lines. It went fine, but they were a great audience, thus it had the potential for being a great set and it wasn’t. I can’t help but think if I had something heartier in my stomach it would’ve gone over better.

Tomorrow will be my last day on the juice, we’ll see how it goes. I hope to wake up earlier and get more done. At least I don’t have a show in the evening.

Juice Cleansing: Yep, Definitely Bullshit.

Juice Cleansing: Yep, Definitely Bullshit.

Oh Yeah, I hate Juice Cleanses!

Oh Yeah, I hate Juice Cleanses!