I Hate Yoga.
*Originally posted May 5, 2016
I haven’t posted for a few days for two reasons. One being technical difficulties with my website. But mostly because I hate yoga right now. I’m so annoyed. And I’m annoyed blogging about it too. I’m annoyed that the time commitment is so much. I’m annoyed because my practiced looked like it was getting stronger and then it did a proper nose dive.
As a teacher and as a someone who used to practice this for a long time I would like to write an airy fairy blog where I talk all the time about howgood I feel and how much I’m learning about myself and the practice. But for the past few days I’ve just felt like shit. I’m tired, I’m grumpy and I want a nap. Believe you me, I’m aware this is a first world problem. But I think what annoys me the most is it’s a problem I’ve given myself. I could just quit, but the whole reason I make these things public is to keep myself accountable. If I had silently decided to do a Bikram Yoga 30 Day Challenge and hadn’t told anyone I wouldn’t have made it to day 8. That’s why I choose to blog about it.
I suppose in moments when you want to throw the towel in and give up those are the moments that it’s important to remind yourself why. Why am I doing this? The simple exercise of it getting me to write on a daily basis is nice. Basically of the 20 some odd posts this month winds up being by the end I may be able to squeeze a few minutes of new jokes out of them. So thank you to the people are taking the time to read my blog, you are wonderful to read what is the first drafts to whatever this all turns into in the end.
Why Bikram Yoga. Two reasons, one to fall back in love with it again. Although, if you haven’t been able to tell, at the moment Yoga and I are having a fight. Mostly because yoga is so very needy. It insists that I practice regularly to maintain a certain level of muscular flexibility and joint health and right now it’s mocking me for taking so much time off. Yoga is mocking me and I’m growing tired of it’s stupid little zen smirk.“Oh, did you enjoy back-bending the last few days? Well, now you won’t be able to do it for the next couple classes? ” “Are you finally able to go all the wake back in Fixed-Firm Pose? Ok, well how about we make it feel like your driving icepicks thru your knees while you do it?” This is what Yoga has been whispering to me the last three days.
Yesterday, I took the last class of the day because I just didn’t want to go,and when I finally got home at 9pm, I stood in the middle of my London apartment and complained to my boyfriend. Tom sat there and listened patiently until I stopped whining then said, “I guess in order to appreaciate good days you have to have bad days.” I was stuck dumb by the simple accuracy of this statement. I shut up and we ate dinner.
Today I walked to the studio for my 16th class. I’m officially past the halfway point. Once in class I noticed my back felt a little better than the past few days. And my knees didn’t hurt quite as much in Fixed-Firm. It wasn’t a great day but it was a good day and I can only appreciate it because I’ve had bad days before.