*Originally posted May 2, 2016
Maybe it was because the day before I had run a 11.5 mile obstacle course. Maybe it’s because the to celebrate that night I had several glasses of wine. Maybe it was because, when I finally woke up today at noon, I had a big stack of pancakes, two cups of coffee and just a half a glass of water. To be honest, it was most likely the combination of all three that made class today suck. When I was teaching a lot I’d have students come up to me after class telling me it was so hard and they don’t know why. 90% of difficult classes aren’t because the room is too hot or because the teacher pushes you too far; it’s because you did something to make things more difficult for yourself. In my case today, I was exhausted from the previous day, under-hydrated, and under-nourished for the 5pm class I dutifully took. Make no mistake I had plenty of calories in my system but nothing to help me recover from the day before. Instead I treated myself to a plate of sugary carbs. I regret nothing.
When I walked into Bikram Yoga Highbury & Islington, I told the teacher Sharka that I had run an obstacle course the day before so I was a bit bruised. I didn’t realized how black and blue I was until I walked into the yoga room wearing just my short-shorts and sports bra. My left under-arm is covered with marks and my legs look like someone took a bat to them. It’s not pretty, but they’ll fade. As soon as I walked int the hot room I felt like I was going to be sick. Keep in mind, this feeling hit me before we even started class. I was just sitting on my mat thinking, “I wish I was still in bed.” But, alas I committed to a 30 Day Challenge and if I waited one more day to recover I don’t know if I would have felt any better. So sometimes you just have to suck it up and do your best.
I made a commitment to myself before class started that I wouldn’t sit out any posture. And I didn’t so hooray for me. I did each posture just a little bit and tried to stay present to maintain perfect alignment. If I wasn’t going to go deep in a posture I could at least work on my form. I don’t know if I had perfect form through out class because I kind of spaced out. I just followed along the best I could trying not to vomit, and dealing with the creaks of my aching post Mudder body. I got through it. It wasn’t pretty but as the farmer says, “That’ll do pig. That’ll do.”
After class I laid in savasana, I didn’t feel purged of the caffeine and carbs I ate, and I didn’t feel light-headed or relaxed, or happy or sad. Sometimes after class I feel both depleted and energized at the same time. It’s a great sensation. My body feels empty but my head hums with a certain energy. I didn’t feel like that at all. After class I just felt done. It’s another tick on the board and another post on the blog, but I don’t feel like I accomplished or pushed myself to something deeper today. As I put on my shoes and began to trudge home I promised myself before class on Monday I’ll drink lots of water. Hopefully that class will be a more enlightening experience.