Two Days of Doubles
*Originally posted May 18, 2016
If you recall I missed two days of class during this 30 Day Challenge and as told by the laws of Bartholomew laid down by the pirate brethren; I could make these two days up by doing doubles. Two classes in one day. I have friends who love doing doubles. My friend from Bikram Yoga Harlem Dionne does them all the time. I decided they are not for me a long time ago and day 27 and 28 confirmed that. I present to you the tale of the two doubles.
I woke up and took the 10am class, I did fine. It was fun. It was yoga. Forgive me for not giving you the blow by blow but it’s now Wednesday night as I write this and since that class I’ve done four other classes. My brain is foggy. After class I jetted home to grab a bite to eat and get some work done before I headed back to Bikram Yoga Highbury & Islington for the 4:30 class. The first of my work that needed to get done was the cleaning. Both Tom and I had spent the weekend running in and out of the house only to throw our stuff down before heading back out. Our apartment is small and it’s easy for the mess to accumulate. My goal was to have the place tidy by the time he had gotten back from work. By the time I was supposed to leave for yoga class number two, I had only cleaned the bedroom. I don’t know why, but this gave me horrible anxiety. I thought maybe I should just stay and finish and take a later class. But, I knew if I did that the chances Of me getting to the second class would be slim. So I packed my bag and left for class.
The 4:30 was fine, for the second class of the day it wasn’t dramatic I wasn’t too tired, I paced myself well. But as I left class I could feel that anxiety creepy back into my body. As I walked home my head began to reel, “You said you’d clean the whole house before Tom got home. You didn’t do it. You’re behind on your yoga blog. What’s the point of setting the goal to write daily if you don’t write daily. You offered to make dinner, how can you make dinner or write with a messy apartment? How can you do anything? Maybe you should just quit everything.” This dialogue continued in my head until I reached home and was near tears. When I arrived home Tom was asleep on the bed in his clothes. He had worked for 12 hours that day and was tired. I came in sat on the couch and tried to compose myself. I thought maybe a snack would level me out so went to the fridge to grab a yogurt to find none. That’s when I decided to do the sensible thing and stormed into the bedroom and asking Tom, “Did you my yogurt.?!”
“I only had two pots. I’ll buy you more…”
Then I slammed the door on him ran back to the couch and sobbed uncontrollably. I cried over yogurt. This is not the act of a balanced woman. I know, some of my Bikram Yogi friends are reading this right now thinking, “Yes, yes. The Yoga does bring up all sorts of emotions” Though, that maybe the case, I think the reason for my tears had more to do with me having little to eat that day and being tired, dehydrated and hormonal. One yoga class a day may relieve a persons stress. For me, more than that turns me into a raving lunatic. I did finish cleaning the house. I did not make dinner. But I did confuse the hell out of Tom.
I woke up early and crept out of the bedroom trying not to wake Tom. I drank a green smoothie for breakfast and packed some for the break. Today the plan was to do the 10am and the 12:30 back to back. I may have over done it in the 10am. I was feeling strong and the, Ky, had a way of teaching that really made me want to push myself. By the time we got to the final breathing I was happy with my work and exhausted. I eventually crawled up from final savasana went to the lobby to have my snack and sign in for the 12:30 class. I’d say I performed in the second class as well as I did the day I had the hang over. I felt weak and unbalanced. I thought maybe because I had just taken class, I could use the second class to do into postures deeper, but I didn’t have the stamina and somehow I felt tighter in than in the 10am class.
When I got home after three hours of yoga, I hugged Tom and apologized for my ridiculous behavior the night before. We had both been exhausted so didn’t really resolve anything before we had gone to bed. But all is well now. Though, he thinks maybe doubles are not a good idea for me and I agree. After day 28’s doubles once I got home I had to take a nap before heading out for a gig at 6pm.
If I was teaching full time and my whole life was yoga doing doubles might not be such a problem. But hysterical crying aside, three hours of yoga a day plus the commute take up a lot of time. I had already fallen way behind on my blog posts, plus I have other deadlines to attend to and all day yoga doesn’t really leave me time or a head space to accomplish those things. Yoga is supposed to enhance your life not exhaust you to the point you have to retreat from it.
As this 30 day challenge winds down I’m starting to reflect on what works for me and what doesn’t and I can promise you, doubles do not.